Be Responsible.

     One of the greatest advantages I had in my life was to grow up in a household in which I was taught right from wrong.  My parents made sure to teach me that if I did in fact mess up that not only were there consequences for my actions, but that I needed to use these mistakes as learning tools.  Even as a certified adult, I still make mistakes.  Some errors are less costly then others, but I do know that for every mistake, there is a valuable life lesson to be taught and it makes me grateful for those not so perfect moments.
     After my parents' difficult divorce, I learned a very important life lesson.  You need to, at all times, be able to take care of yourself should the worst happen.  What did I do?  I put myself through college and got my degree in International Relations.  I work a full time job that has amazing benefits and I get to have an amazing partner to be by my side through it all.  Naturally it is very frustrating for me when I hear about people who need a helping hand because they don't have a "fair" chance in today's society.  It's difficult to hear that phrase used when I know deep in my soul that everyone has a chance at their own destiny.  Sometimes it takes longer for some to reach their full potential, and sometimes people never reach it, but every single action and every single decision is their own.  Sure there are some ugly cards people are dealt, but like my experience with my parents' divorce, I just could have easily given up and fallen down a very slippery slope.  The reason why I did not fall down into a valley was my choice, and that choice lead me to the life that I have now.  I could have just as easily not gone to college, and I could have simply refused to date my now husband, and I could have easily have chosen to become bitter about the hard times I endured after my parents split but I CHOSE not to.  I chose to invest in myself and my future, and now I get to reap those rewards for choosing to better myself.
     I think that is one of the issues plaguing our society now.  On a daily basis, we are being told that not everyone had their "fair shake" and most were dealt a "bad" card at birth.  I can't help but lose my temper when I hear this.  Sure, not everyone grows up in a household where education is of value, and not everyone grows up with a supporting family, but just because that is what you start out in does not mean that is your destiny.  This isn't the Middle Ages where if you grow up as a serf, you're going to remain in that social class.  As an American, you can choose where you want to go.  If you want to go to college you CAN.  If you want to become a mechanic, you CAN.  If you want to become a professional athlete, you have that opportunity.  That's what is not being talked about now.  Everyone in America has as much of an equal pathway to be whatever they want to be as long as they make the right choices and work hard.  This is the American dream that is lost to a lot of people in this nation because things are so much easier and much more accessible then it was when I was a child.  I did not have the internet or a computer, and I was able to get into a great college and am now having a successful career.  Part of that is because I am driven to not be in the situation I saw my mother placed into, but because I want nice things and I know the value of being responsible.  In the spirit of being responsible, let's explore some social hot button issues.
     Let's begin with alcohol and narcotics.  I see too many people worried and concerned about whether or not they will be able to smoke pot legally in their state.  This topic is taking precedent over national security and foreign policy in some households and that is heartbreaking and so sad.  If you are over the age of 20 and concerned over having unlimited access to pot, then I cannot help but feel sorry for you.  If this is the only way you know to relax, then can I suggest yoga or guided meditation?  I feel so sad when I see people who are over the age of 25 and are still getting blitzed every weekend.  It makes me sad for a whole other list of very personal reasons.  Not being able to remember your weekend or night because you consumed too much alcohol.... there just needs to be a higher goal you want to attain other than drinking yourself into oblivion.  Life is way too short and you're going to miss out on so much if all you are worried about is your access to drugs and what party you can attend with free drinks.
     Welfare.  I touched on this last week, but again this is NOT a program designed to carry you and your family through their life if you are an able bodied individual.  Why there is a debate on whether or not people on welfare should be randomly drug tested in order to keep their benefits is just something I cannot wrap my brain around; no matter how many articles I read on people who do not support the testing.  Not one able bodied person needs to be on this for life.  To be on this, if you are able to work, shows that certain people have bought into the "I was dealt a bad hand in life" or that the "government owes this money to me".  Why you would choose to be dependent on the government is beyond my comprehension.  There is something very freeing and motivating in knowing that I can support my family without assistance from anyone else.  I emplore those one welfare to find a way to rid yourself of those ties.
     Abortion.  What a nice and easy topic.  When I was about 12 years old I was staying over at one of my friend's houses.  The subject came up and I told my friend's sister that I did not support abortion, to which she replied horrified that as a WOMAN I should be for it.  What a thing to be told at such a young age, right?  No, no I am not for abortion.  To me, abortion is just not an option because the whole reason why an abortion needs to take place is because two people engaged in a sexual act and created life because of it.  Now I do realize that some times there are non-consenting adults, and in cases of rape I allot that choice to be made, however, the vast majority of abortions happen because of consenting actions.  I think that as a nation, we have become way too oblivious on how important and significant sex can be and it's difficult to not see why.  Commercials use it, musicians sing about it, television shows broadcast it, you really cannot go anywhere on a daily basis without someone or something you buy being half naked or nude.  Which is fine, but most of the populous does not seem to gather that sex is one of the most significant moments in a person's life and it should not be done without knowing the huge impact it will have on you physically, mentally and emotionally.  I would love a campaign to come out and showing the importance of sex.  I don't think sex should be taught in schools or through social context.  Sex is something that is so momentous that every parent needs to explain to their child how important of an action this is, and why if you engage in it, you have to be prepared for the fact that a person can be created from actions you are engaging in. If an unborn child was created by your actions, it is highly unfair to end that life because you do not want to deal with the responsibility. Abortion is one of the most barbaric things you can ever do to another living being.  If you are not ready to be a parent, you should not be having sex.
     There is too many people in today's society that watch way too much entertainment news and try to match their "goals" if you can call it that with those of high profile celebrities.  We need parents today to take control and step up as an adult to teach that there is so much more to life than fame.  For those who say that they had no choice in their life, I will disagree with them until my face is blue.  Look at people like Abraham Lincoln, J.K. Rowling, Oprah, Andrew Carnegie and Fredrick Douglas and tell me these people did not make something from nothing.  These people worked hard to bring themselves to the top after being at the bottom.  It's so easy to not be responsible.  It's easier to not worry about your credit rating than it is to budget.  It is easier to drink or smoke your problems away than it is to look your demons in the eye and conquer them.  It's hard being responsible, but trust that one day your big payoff will come.  Too many adults are acting and living life like they are still in high school or college, and while it's sad, it is their CHOICE to continue living that way.  Once the government stops interfering by telling people it is not their fault they are where they are, then maybe we will have adults flourish and become, not only responsible, but successful.